on the low down

i dunno what really makes me feel so low man.
sigh..my morale and mood hits the bottom and i feel really sick of myself suddenly.

i guess it all began from the lousy conversations Jason and i had in the morning.all about my stereotyped life and not being able to do what i want in my life.
but really...i blame noone.

i guess im a negative film in my last life.i could easily encourage pple to be positive and love life,but seriously i dun practice what i preach.(like who does?)

its not that im really that pessimistic,but i just allow too much realities slash in my life.and often this kinda reality concept makes me a quite a negative Mich sometimes.

i dunno...the main thing is i really dislike the country that im born in.
for others that do not have a single idea how life in Singapore can be,lemme brief you a thang or two.

For those that were born..say the 1970s onwards,your life will be stereotyped(and notice how many times i will use the wrd stereotype) into those "study,work,study,work,work,study,work,work,work,work,die"
no kidding.this is what most of us are doing.

the kids here are less innocent if you were to compare to those born and raise in the countrysides or simply rural.
and each generation after the other knows more and more than the previous.

just for instance when i was 12,i probably still have no idea that there is a thing that i can do what i can do now called computer.a thing that i can use to sms or talk call handphone.
and even if i know the existence,i probably never have one till im much much older.
now?kids as young as 10 plus (and the record is getting younger)carries handphones,and i seriously wonder why they need it?

back to what im saying.when we were young, we are implanted with those concepts whereby you need to excel in studies to get a good place in work.you need to study very hard and outwins your classmates to prove you are the best,and your parents would be happy.

and we carry on to study till we are 20 odd before we goes to work.
in the work place,the same rule goes.
you need to outfight others to get the higher and higher.you need to push ur way up to the top to enjoy life.coz without the money,you cant really survive here in singapore.
the standard of living is high and everything costs.to solve,you need the moo lah to keep moving.
of coz you dun stop studying when you are working.if you have got the calibre,you probably still need to upgrade yourself by taking up studies courses. thats the only way to prevent chances of obsolete and taken over by the new blood who have got higher education than you.

ok finally you have a family.you still need to slog for your house loan,your family and his/her family,and your OWN family,and many other miscellaneous expenses.needless to say..when you have got children,the bills just keep climbing.(not your income)
and Singapore govt wonders on the birth rate and aging population.

and by the time you reach 50,your children are still studying.(thats the avg cases)so..cont'd slogging till your boss get rid of u,or offer the 'golden handshake'

if you are lucky,everything would rest and you would be able to enjoy ur golden years by 55 onwards.but if you are not like most singaporeans,hey..happy slogging.there will always be positions for cleaners.
and there...if you live up to 60.congrats if you can enjoy ur remaining days,if not..well..too bad.

i wonder if its the same with elsewhere,but this kinda life FREAKS me to hell.

i really dun wanna end up like this.i wanna see and enjoy the world while im still young,not when my skin is wrinkling up and probably i cant see that much either.

Jason shares with me his idol Thierry Henry's theory."holidays comes after career."
respectable~

want some reality bites?*munch munch*
Thierry Henry - France's most wanted.
come on,tell me what is his career?one that earns him millions and millions game after game.
and footballers doesnt kick all their life,for i know..they have an age limit.

can you earn that in singapore?on avg,we only earn about thousands per month,before CPF deductions.and with our standard of living,we are lucky if we can dine in prestige cafes once a month or so.

pple like Beckham dont live in their palace like house for nothing?
to those earning those kinda money,of coz holidays come after careers.for there will be only a limited time that they can earn.and they will still be mighty young when they get outta that field and enjoy life (with that $$$$) with their loved ones.

god..can you gimme a better example next time?

ANYWAY!!there is really no damn use of me complaining that much either.this is my life,my fate and luck that im in this miserable robotic singapore.
yes,i count my blessings that there are worst countries ard though.
i still have to hunt down the jobs,makes the calls,emails the resumes,go down for the interviews and so on.
even if i can wait..my conscience would stop me from waiting coz the responsiblity of making that dough is now lying on my shoulders.

god bless!
sigh.....am i really only 20??